Most often we think of marriage as the joining of two people to be wife and husband. In reality, marriage is often much more than that. It is also the coming together and merging of family and friends. When the bride and/or
groom have children, it is appropriate for the children to be included in the wedding ceremony. With children present, the wedding ceremony also becomes the proclamation of a new family or a “family wedding.”
Generally speaking, children will accept a parent’s remarriage more readily when they feel included in the wedding plans, the wedding ceremony and are given a tangible symbol of being embraced by a new family; perhaps a beautiful bracelet, a gold-banded birthstone ring or some other significant token of love.
Blended families are often referred to as step-families or co-families. This ceremony can easily be incorporated into the wedding ceremony.
Pouring different colored sands together is another way to symbolize the joining of the bride and groom and their family together. See the Blending of the Sands Ceremony.
Blended Family Ceremony #1
It is the desire of _________ and _________ to extend their commitments to each other by making some promises to the children of this family. As you all join hands to form a new circle of love, we will seal this union with spoken promises like the rings this bride and groom have exchanged.
Officient to the Bride/Groom:
Do you _________ and _________, promise to be faithful, loving, tender and nurturing parents, always there for _________ (child/children’s name), not only providing their/her/his physical needs, but their/her/his emotional needs as well, always a good listener, a loving counselor and a friend?
Bride & Groom:
Officient to the mother/Father (Speaking to the Child/Children):
(Repeat after me). _________, I want you to know that I love your mother/father very much. I will not and cannot replace a mother/father loved by you, however I can promise you that I will love you and care for you as if you were my own. I promise to be a committed listener. I promise you my trust, to be fair, my support, what knowledge I can share, to be your friend, and to provide a shoulder to cry on. I promise to be available to you as I am to your mother/father.
Bride/Groom to Child/Children:
_________, I give you this _________ (gift) as a sign of my loving promises made this day.
Officient to Child/Children:
Do you accept the promises made by _________?
I do or We do.
Blended Family Ceremony #2
There are children who will share in this marriage. The gathering of this new family will have a deep influence upon them. It will both complicate and enrich their lives. They will also have much to contribute to this new family. We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there be love and understanding between the children and the adults being married.
Officient to Bride and Groom:
Is your love for each other broad enough to include _________ (name the child/children) and deep enough to honor their/her/his presence in this marriage and to pledge yourselves to love and care for them/her/him?
Bride and Groom: